2019-06-28

Why should I write?

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Here we are again.

Patterns

Patterns are beautiful. They’re everywhere, they’re symmetric, and they’re persistent.

Every few cycles, they manifest themselves, and you know it’s time to write a ‘Why should I write?’ article again.

You’ve screwed up your cycle, your career’s going nowhere, your hobbies are dead for good, and your creativity is waving at you from Mars. You decide to take control, and start over again. For real this time; no pretensions, no frivolity. Just pure motivation and caffeine rushing through your veins. But the Gods are not kind to you, and the cursor is planted at its place firmer than your head on the pillows every morning.

No, not this time. Let’s give it one more try, eh? If there’s anything even remotely noteworthy I’ve learnt through each cycle, it’s that impulse is that first crush from your high school whose name you don’t even remember, and tenacity is wifey material. She's rich, she's pretty, and she's thoughtful. Marry her. Remember her name till you die, or you’ll go broke. Impulses won’t last, tenacity does. Duh.

With a fresh take on life (and addictions), let’s start over again. This will be the last time we start over again (hopefully not because I give up entirely the next time). Let’s write. And before we write, let’s write about why we want to write. So here goes…

Papers, please

It’s all a blur when you’re in the zone, and you do things you won’t believe if you’re told about them the next day. It’s all a blur when you’re brain dead for years, and do things you won’t believe if you see traces of them later. I badly want to be the first guy, and maybe I was, but my worn out brain won’t recollect what happened yesterday. So, I need to document like the guy from Memento; write, write a lot, sir. Document that shit. Clip those thoughts. Everything has to go, so you can be awed over and over by your prowess to forget everything. On a more serious note, There have been times when I had made observations or had come up with invaluable philosophical guides, or mind-bending theories that I just can’t recollect now. My mind has numbed so much, and it’s really difficult to start over everytime it happens. In conclusion, document to not forget.

Bring back the beast

I was a beast 6 years ago. It was all happening. The beacons from outerspace or whatever the hell the aliens were doing was working, I was lit. Ideas just came to me, no probing required. I was fast, and I was relentless.

I was hungry 4 years ago, still had the magic needed for the witchcraft my mind needed to do. It’s all been downhill ever since.

It would be great if I could recollect the feeling of being there again, just to capture that spark, to reinstate that state of mind again.

No rush no fall

This is something I’m still grappling with, with limited success. Rushing is for recruits in Siege, not quite applicable in the real world. It’s important that you plan out whatever you intend to do in life; haste yields waste, or you rash, you crash are the general guidelines you need to live by. Albeit being so important, I’ve overlooked this too many times, only to regret and reflect upon this. More mistakes from here are only going to aggravate the damage, so let’s do this right, just this once.